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Updated: Mar 27

This one goes out to all my YA’s (young adults)! Being a young adult is the most fun, exhilarating, challenging, and frightening time in one’s life. One day you’re be-boppin ’through High School excited for the future and then bam, just like that, over-night the future is here. Suddenly you have to make all these decisions about work, school, and relationships. But wait, yesterday all I had to think about was what toppings I wanted on my pizza. The truth is our American culture does a pretty bad job of getting us ready for adulthood. Once you turn 18 it’s assumed that you just know what you’re doing and you have it all figured out. Umm…no, not at all! I asked some of my YA’s what topics they would like to see discussed here on the blog. They gave me topics like being bold in purity, transitioning into adults, financial responsibilities, and appreciation for Godly wisdom. Wowzer! Those are all heavy hitters and deserve a blog post of their own. As I prayed, and put more thought into how to best approach this tribute to my YA’s I had an epiphany, I am no longer a young adult. I know, it's terrifying when you realize that you are now just a regular, boring, adult. But the good news is that because I am no longer a young adult I think I may have a bit of wisdom to offer. I began to think about the things that I learned along the way, the things that I believe were helpful in navigating the YA season of my life. The key tips that I would give to help them navigate any situation. So here it goes YA’s, I will give it my best shot.


First of all, you don’t know it all. I know you think you do, and I love you for that, but you still have a lot of life to live. This is the kind of messed up thing about our culture. We tell 18-year-olds that this is the magic number to having it all figured out. We give you the privilege of being an adult with none of the training. Most 18-year-olds in America have zero real-life experience. They’ve never paid rent before, held down a serious job, or had conflicts out in the real world with real consequences. And you know what? That’s ok! The sooner you accept that you don’t know everything, are going to make a ton of mistakes, and will need lots of help and grace from others, you’ll be on your way. Proverbs 16:18 says “First pride, then the crash—the bigger the ego, the harder the fall.” (that’s the message translation for ya!)

Be humble. Be willing to learn and grow from others who are farther down the path than you. As a YA I think one thing I learned quickly was to always watch for the people that God placed around me that I could learn from. Accept any invitation they are willing to extend to you. If they want to meet with you, move heaven and earth to be there. If they want to include you on a project, ask them how you can best serve their vision. Be willing to do the job that no one wants to do just to be a part of the group. I’m telling you, your humility will get you into rooms you don’t deserve to be in.

I came at you a little hard on that one. I hope you still love me.


I always tell people that the one reason I graduated from college with honors was because I did three things, I showed up, I sat in the front, and I turned in my work on time. Basically, I was diligent. I wasn’t the smartest one in the classroom. I didn’t come in with any type of privilege. I didn’t have anyone to help me. I had to dig my own two feet in the ground and get it done. If I was doing to succeed it was up to me. I still remember pacing the floors of my house with my notes getting ready for finals.

What is diligence? Webster defines diligence as careful and persistent work or effort. Diligence is showing up (on time) and working hard. This is the season of your life YA to put in the work. Your life is not busy, it’s full, as it should be in this season of your life. The old adage is “an idle mind is the devil's playground”. Don’t allow yourself to be idle. You will never have as much free time in your entire life as you do now. You will never have the least amount of commitments as you do now. Now is the time to grind my friend. Dig in, dig into education, dig into work, dig in with God.

Proverbs 21:25 “Lazy people finally die of hunger because they won’t get up and go to work.”


The world places so much weight on having “a special someone”. Let me share a hard truth with you, this is probably not that time for you. Often “special someone’s” are distractions from the things that God is trying to develop in you in this season of your life. If you are in a relationship right now you need to ask yourself the hard question “Where is this going?” “Is this something that is being built to last or is this just something entertaining me for now?” You don’t need someone to entertain you right now. You don’t need someone to share your life with. You don’t need someone to make you feel valued or important. That’s God’s job in this season. He wants you to get to know Him first, let Him have all your attention, and let Him show you how valuable you are. Skipping this step is where YA’s end up in trouble in relationships. How can you offer yourself to be someone’s person if you don’t even know who you are? And you will never know who you are if you don’t allow time for the one who made you (God) to show you. Don’t let a relationship turn into a situation-ship.

Now I’m realistic, there are those cases where YA’s do find the one that God has for them and it is the right time to court each other. Notice I said court each other. Marriage is for the rest of your lives, take your time. I also know that some YA’s may be called to get married young, I was one of those cases. But that’s very rare and oftentimes special circumstances are present where God gives the green light. You will need trusted mentors in your life to help you discern if this is your situation.

I think the most important thing here is to make sure you are strong in your relationship with God first. Make sure you know Him first and are in love with Him first. Take the time with Him so he can show you who you are. If you do that, you will know when He gives you the green light to date.

2 Peter 3:18“ But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.”


Now not being in a dating relationship doesn’t mean that God won’t bring you people. All the more, not having a boyfriend creates more open space for God to bring the friends who are called to walk alongside you in this season. Ever think of that? What friendships am I missing out on because I won’t let go of this one person? Maybe God has so much more for you, a much fuller, richer life than you ever could imagine but He can’t give it to you because you won’t let go of the one who’s not supposed to be there. Create a vacancy in your life for God to bring you the ones that He has.

Creating friendship bonds as a YA is one of the healthiest and most life-giving things that you can do. God doesn't call us to walk alone, He designed us to live in community. His desire for us is to encourage one another. To learn together, to grow together. For most of us, this does not come naturally. We live in an interconnected world through social media but we have never been more separated from true connection as a society. Step outside your comfort zone and get to know some people, up close, face to face. Pray and ask God to lead you to your people. Step out in faith when you feel His nudge. Ask them to coffee, go to a bible study together. Start a small group of YA’s that read a book together or do some type of hobby together regularly.

This is the season of your life to find the people who will probably be there for the rest of your life. Let me give you a hot tip, they are probably not the ones you went to High School with.

Hebrews 10:24-25“ And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”


Ok, OK, I’m done bursting all the bubbles now. The YA season of life is the most amazing, formative, and fun season. Yet, so many YA’s just want to rush through it. They just want to get to what they think is the good part of life. Especially as young women, we tend to dream up this narrative of how we think our life will be when we’re older. We get so focused on this version of our life that we feel miserable until it plays out exactly how we planned it. We miss some of the best times of our life just wishing and hoping that the future would get here faster. The point I’m trying to drive home to you YA’s is that this is the time when God shapes you into the woman He needs you to be. It’s in these days that He molds you into that woman you see living your dream. It’s not that the dream isn’t real or that God doesn’t want you to have it. It’s that if He gave you the dream now you wouldn’t be able to fully embrace it. You wouldn’t know how to live it to the fullest.

I love you. I’m cheering for you. I want you to look back at these years and say “Man what an adventure I had, that was living, those were the days”.

So enjoy life YA. Give yourself permission to be free, be fabulous, and be made by God in this season.

Psalm 139:14 “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

Love you mucho! – PB

Catch the video blog on Youtube where Pastor Brittany shares about her journey with this topic.

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